notpetewentz:

why don’t fans ever host interviews like how many times do i have to hear them answer “what was it like coming back after the break up” or “where did the eyeliner go??” i wanna know what their favorite albums are respectively or what they were thinking when they wrote certain lines or WHY ANDY WONT GO OUT WITH ME

(via fakeyouredeaf)

marieannelise:

When there’s too much shit you need to get done at once

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(via macaracooned)

roboboners:

jayda95:

all-because-we-fell-in-love:

floozys:

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

Uhh. The baby doesnt come out of where the penis goes in…

stay in school y’all

i hate to be the bearer of bad news but the vagina and the vagina are, in fact, the same thing

(via fakeyouredeaf)

peterthestarcatcher:

*pelvic thrusts kitchen drawers closed*

(via furiousnightfury)

giveamanagame:

captainjamestklrk:

MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG’S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIDE AND HE’S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT’S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE

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SHE LAUGHS EVERYTIME TOO AND NOW HE’S JUMPING ON ME AND BARKING AND GETTING MAD AT ME LIKE OLIVER TURN AROUND AND LOOK IN THAT HUGE ASS CAGE AND BEG HER FOR A FUCKING TREAT OR SOMETHING. 

your bird is an asshole

(Source: eragonsshadeslayer, via fakeyouredeaf)

duloxetine:

finding out that someone very hot follows you

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(via fakeyouredeaf)